“Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.”
“The one thing I hate is a liar.”
“I don’t care how pretty/handsome you are if you’re not loyal or honest.”
“We are never, ever ever getting back together.”
I’m currently hooked on this TV show about a teenage girl dealing with the awkwardness of life and growing up. The acting is bad, the plot is sometimes predictable, but the girl’s life is somehow completely relatable to even the inmost places of my soul (even though half of everything that happens to her has never occurred in my own life).
Anyways, in the most recent episode, Homegirl just broke up with her boyfriend, Hottie Pants, after cheating on him with another guy, Mr. Temptation. We’ve seen this coming for a few weeks now–the chemistry between Homegirl and Mr. Temptation developing, the emotional confusion in Homegirl’s heart as she realizes her dissatisfaction with Hottie Pants and complete satisfaction with Mr. Temptation, and then the lying… which led to the sneaking around…
Cue video summary.
Cue pull of heart strings.
Wait a minute.
Why am I still sympathizing and empathizing with Homegirl? What she is doing is clearly wrong, right?? How did this happen? This show isn’t so well written that it can suck me in like this.
Truthfully, my past experiences do provide me with the ability to relate to her position in some way or another. These experiences are yet being formed into a new segment of my testimony, which wouldn’t be such a bad thing to post on here one day.
But, regarding the general problem here, the general problem being that we feel for this girl somehow and not sure why. If you’re reading this and have at some point in life identified yourself as a cheater, a liar, or a heartbreaker, then why you feel this way makes more sense. But what about those who haven’t seen themselves in this way and yet still find themselves reaching for tissues?
Or, perhaps I’m assuming too much. Perhaps you’re reaching for stones to throw because you yourself identify with being Hottie Pants in a relationship. Maybe you weren’t Hottie Pants but still find yourself seeing the black-and-white in this situation. Or, maybe you were Mr. Temptation at one point for someone else.
The likelihood that you are or have been in one of these positions at some point is high in a culture where divorce and adultery is rampant, one-night-stands walk hand-in-hand with intoxication and broken people, and temptation seems to beckon us at the places we feel most vulnerable and tender. Thus, we have shows and movies where the unfaithful heart is somehow justified, leaving us to somehow feel justified as well.
In the last episode of the show, Homegirl meets Hottie Pants in his car after he discovers that she has been cheating on him. She is in turmoil as she doesn’t know yet what she will say or even what the outcome of their conversation will be. She slowly slides into the passenger seat, watching as he keeps his eyes looking straight ahead.
“It meant nothing,” she says, tears falling in shame.
While still looking ahead and not meeting her eyes, Hottie Pants tells her he can forgive her with time.
“I understand,” she says, accepting this as a sentence of judgment for her sins.
He turns to her, finally, and “So lets, uh, try to get back to where we were.”
Pausing, she smiles sadly and shakes her head as hope lost flows from her eyes. “We can’t,” she replies softly.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I can’t. I can’t go back.”
With a trembling countenance and tears in his eyes, he asks her, “Are you breaking up with me?”
To her reply, “No. We are breaking up with each other because… this must have happened for a reason.
And, I can’t look at you and wonder if when you look at me, you still see the same girl you fell in love with before this happened.”
Homegirl leaves him in tears as she stammers over and over how sorry she is. Hottie Pants begins to sob, sinking his face into the wheel of his vehicle.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it.”
Jeremiah 17 : 9
“Yet, I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.”
Revelation 2 : 4-5
“If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.”
2 Timothy 2 : 13
I keep imagining myself as Homegirl in the vehicle, and God is Hottie Pants. I keep imagining myself telling Him how I have cheated on Him and trying to justify it with reasons such as “It meant nothing,” “I didn’t mean to hurt You,” or “I was just stupid.”
I imagine God sitting in the driver’s seat. Except, instead of not looking at me, His eyes won’t leave me. Though they are filled with tears, they are locked into mine. And, instead of telling me that forgiveness will come with time, He offers it to me then, complete and whole. Yet, He still has tears in his eyes and shares the broken appearance that Hottie Pants had.
He wipes the tears from His eyes to say,
“You see, the reason why we can go back to how we were before is because I previously died for this. I died for you. And I don’t see you any differently.
You’re still my girl. You’re still mine, wonderfully made and made perfect by My blood.
But I cry because You forgot me. You rejected me to instead love other idols.
It hurt. I am jealous for your love.
I will always seek it, always want it and accept it from you. You should know that I will never leave you, no matter what you have done or will do.
But, you should also know how much it grieves Me when your heart is turned even the slightest from Me.”
Instead of leaving in tears, I am able to stay, secure in His unconditional love and forgiveness. Instead of doubting how He sees me, I let His words re-write my identity. No longer am I the cheater, the liar, the heartbreaker.
I am His Bride, redeemed and freed, purified and made clean, holy and righteous, forever and always.
“Prone to wonder, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, Lord. Take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above.”