A quick love song for ‘All The Single Ladies’

Mac Powell was my first future husband.

At 10 years old, I had decided Mac Powell, lead singer of the hit early-2000’s Christian rock alternative group known as Third Day (we’re talking pre-Casting Crowns days, folks), was my future husband, even while knowing he was a married man. If you ask me, I think it was his long hair that got me. I’ve always been a sucker for a good head of hair.

I bring him up because lately he’s the main man singing to my soul, although it isn’t him exactly singing to me. Third Day boasts an unusually long list of “love songs” with lyrics sung straight from the Father’s lips to his beloved. It’s kinda their thing: “Love Song,” “Give Love,” “I’ve Always Loved You,” and etc.

And while Texas Country/Red Dirt love ballads have captured my heart for quite some time now, I’m in a place right now where I can’t bring myself to listen to love songs when I don’t have someone to sing them to or someone to think about when I hear them.

The Hard Truth: Over the last four years, I’ve been “single” for a grand total of four months. 

A better way to put it: I have understood myself as a person in a relationship for 44 months of the last 48 months. Scary, right? Unfortunately, what’s scarier to me is the fact that I’m single and 23 and no where close to being married any time soon.

My personal list of role models and mentors is mostly made up of single women or women who have spent a majority of their life unmarried. These are strong, courageous women, women I adore and long to emulate. Yet, as a newly single young woman, I find myself daily battling with another long list of fears and thoughts:

  • I am not strong enough to live my life alone.
  • I am too relational to never be in a relationship again.
  • I am afraid of being single forever.
  • Being single through my 20’s probably means there’s something wrong with me, or there’s some grand (stupid) lesson I haven’t learned yet.
  • No man will ever be “the one” for me.
  • I don’t know how to date in a healthy way.
  • I don’t trust myself to date without messing it up somehow.
  • I don’t know that I can trust anyone else to date me.
  • I’m too broken from my past relationships to date anyone else.
  • By the time I even possibly find “the one,” I will be too old to enjoy marriage as a young person.

Honest thoughts, they are. And the list continues to grow in length and depth. I’m sure it’s mostly lies, but the reality of my singleness keeps these thoughts coming back even when I “shoo” them away.

So here I am, listening to these Third Day songs on repeat because God is the only Being right now who I know can sing these kind of love songs to me and about me and mean it.

There’s a particular love song that took hold of my heart and won’t let go. It’s actually a new song by Third Day (yeah, they’re still at it, folks), called “The One I Love.” I’m not usually a fan of reading lyrics, but these few words continue to catch my single-lady tears right now:

Oh, you of little faith 
Why do you let the wind and the waves distract you
Oh, you of little faith
Don’t you know that when you’ve fallen I’ll be there to catch you
And when all your world is gone
And you cannot sing your song
I will help you carry on
The one I love

Oh, you of little faith
Oh, how quickly and how often you have forgotten
Oh, you of little faith
Aren’t you tired of all the wars and battles you have fought in
And when all your world is gone
And you cannot sing your song
I will help you carry on
The one I love

I didn’t want this to be a blog post about the hard woes of being single, or even about being a young Christian trying to understand singleness. Because the truth is I don’t understand it, nor am I sure that I really want to. 

The only thing I am able to tell myself to do during this time of singleness is to trust God with my love story. He’s the One who loves me the most and who will love me the longest. He sings love songs to me always and loves me perfectly as I am imperfect.

This isn’t me saying that I’m content with being single, even though I know I should be. This isn’t me saying I’m longing to be in a relationship, even though on certain days it’s all I can hope for. All I’m saying is that for the time being God (AKA Mac Powell) is going to sing me love songs to remind me that I’m never alone and I’m always loved.

And for All The Single Ladies (and those of you who aren’t single or a lady), I encourage you to take the time to let God your Father and Provider to also be the Lover of your soul today. He knows sometimes we need to be loved like that, and so He’s willing to sing love songs to us if we’ll listen to Him. 

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3 comments

  1. mansone@okee.k12.fl.us · August 3, 2015

    Beautifully stated!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. Pat Cooper · August 3, 2015

    My sweet Valerie,
    In my life, I have found that some of the greatest times of spiritual growth have come in periods of solitude. So, my dear, I believe that there will be a time in your life that you will look back on this phase that the Lord is allowing you to experience, and you will thank Him for it. I love you.

  3. Pingback: Thanks for the Journey | A "Val"iant Effort

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