I’ll be 24 years old on the 24th of March, 2016. 24 is one year shy of a quarter of a century – a whole fourth of a hundred years!
I’ll be real; I really thought by now I would have been married and settled with a life of my own. By 24, I figured I would have really known what I want to do for a career. I thought I would be more established and unwavering in my faith and teaching multiple bible studies. I thought I would have an established community of friends. I thought I would have a better handle on my emotions.
But again, I’ll be real; I don’t have a whole lot figured out at 24. I’m still unmarried and childless, and that’s really painful for me to think about. I’m still unsure what I’ll be doing 5 years from now. I still call my dad at least once or twice a week in need of a spiritual pep talk. I have had plenty of pitfalls and moments of doubt this past year to disqualify me from teaching a bible study any time soon. I am once again at ground zero when it comes to building a community of friends to love and be loved by. I still have emotional breakdowns.
But, instead of focusing on the things I don’t know about, I decided to attempt to list 24 things I do know to be true.
Like me when I wake up in the morning, self-awareness and reflection ain’t always pretty, but it’s crucial to moving forward.
So here goes:
4 THINGS I REGRET
- I regret rushing graduate school and ending that season of my life.
- I regret not realizing sooner that my year and a half in Texas was what Trace Adkins was talking about when he said “you’re gonna miss this.”
- I regret rushing into ‘love’ time and time again when it wasn’t quite right or good.
- I regret not realizing sooner that I’m just a teacher at heart, plain and simple, and there’s no reason to shy away from that calling.
4 THINGS I DREAM ABOUT DOING
- I dream about someday teaching students, year after year, student after student, baked goods after baked goods.
- I dream about someday finding someone to spend the rest of my life with, to go on adventures with and learn alongside.
- I dream about someday being a ‘mom’ to so many children, both my very own and picked up along the way.
- I dream about someday loving and discipling sisters in Christ like my mama does.
4 THINGS I LEARNED THIS PAST YEAR
- I learned I love students and teaching more than anything else I could ever imagine doing.
- I learned what it means to not put as much weight into what people think.
- I learned how to truly trust and rely on others who love you when you really need the help.
- I learned how to make my bed everyday (this might have happened more recently…oops).
4 THINGS I HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH THIS COMING YEAR
- I hope to start paying off my college loans and develop a steady budget to live from.
- I hope to learn how to better paint paintings of random things like angus cows, redfish, and pineapples.
- I hope to go to be a better daughter, sister, and friend to my people.
- I hope to actually take care of my newly purchased car (a maroon Chevy Equinox that I’m naming either Ethel or Scarlett O’Hara–haven’t decided which yet), which includes learning what it means to actually care about a vehicle.
4 THINGS THAT I’M STILL WRESTLING WITH
- I’m wrestling with my need to forgive and release hurts I’ve carried around way too long to make any kind of sense.
- I’m wrestling with finding my voice, especially when it comes to story-telling (I’m LITERALLY the worst story-teller there ever was).
- I’m wrestling with contentment in my present circumstances.
- I’m wrestling with recognizing God’s trustworthiness, especially with my future.
4 THINGS THAT STILL SET MY SOUL ON FIRE
- The onion layers of people (personality, strengths, culture, generation, identity, etc.).
- Education and personal leadership development for my generation.
- Adoption and missions.
- Blogging, especially when I know God has put real words on my heart.